Sat 12 Sep 2009
Here’s the text on the back label of the Lost Angel Petite Sirah 2006, Central Coast, “cellared and 
bottled” by Sapphire Brands in Paso Robles:
Legend has it, an angel came down from the sky to explore the garden of earthly delights and lost her way. Tired of searching, she created her own paradise in the region now known as Paso Robles. So happy with her utopia on earth, a tear of joy fell from her eyes and landed in the rich fertile soil. From that tear a vine grew reaching for the stars, trying to show the angel her way home.
Well, legend has it that astronauts did not walk on the moon, that Barack Obama is an illegal alien and that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is an operative for the Jewish Anti-Defamation League. I mean, really, don’t insult my intelligence with this crap. This isn’t “marketing”; it’s complete sentimental inanity. Please tell me, My Readers, that you would not read this hoo-hah on a back label and think, “Awww, how sweet, I think I’ll buy this wine,” which by the way, is about as generic as red wine gets and is no bargain at about $13, the price I paid.
Lost Angel is a label from EOS Estate Winery, which should know better.
September 12th, 2009 at 10:16 am
The operative words for that wine are, “cellared and bottled by.”
In other words, some entity made a deal for a large volume of someone else’s wine, moved it to a location where the entity registered a license, and then foisted it off on us.
The truly sad part is that another part of that same wine could be “cellared and bottled” by someone else, put under a separate label, and sold at a different price.
This is the result of the marvelous world of TTB regulations that protect commerce–consumer be damned.
September 12th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Oh, and yes, I’ve always wanted the job of writing back labels. I expect it is a great way to exercise one’s novella aspirations.
September 12th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Thanks for the comments, Thomas. I have been trying to put together a post about “vinted by” and “cellared by” so readers know what the hell those terms mean and what relationship they have to “produced by.” But when I have approached wineries or their PR people about telling me what the terms mean for specific wines or labels in their roster, they don’t reply.
September 12th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Thanks to Azoto for emailing me this link to a hilarious (and dismaying) YouTube video about wine “marketing”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MmgZWcPskA
enjoy!
September 14th, 2009 at 6:53 am
That’s ridiculous! We were just at EOS a few weeks ago. This wine wasn’t in the tasting, so maybe they know….
September 18th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Garbage In, Garbage Out…It seems.
Which of the following would you most prefer to see on a back label?
A.)More “As The World Turns” soap opera sounding labels
B.)Nutrition Facts
C.)Winemaker’s notes / something interesting about the wine and/or the winery
D.)Nothing at all
E.)Other